{the day i felt important}

Yesterday I answered a call with no caller ID. Usually, in this case, I don't answer the phone, but for some reason, this time, I did! The lady on the other end said, "Sara, I would like to congratulate you for being accepted into the National Association of Professional Women! May I interview you further for your profile that will be published with your name in our next edition?" OF COURSE!

After a pretty good interview, she was impressed. I'll admit. I felt my answers were pretty good for being last minute. I mean, all I did was fill out a form that was sent to me, and then I was approved. Easy! OR NOT...

"OK Sara, ::insert big long lecture about how honored I should feel and what they will do for me...blah blah blah...:: So, Sara...would you like to pay $9.99 for our elite membership? Or $7.95 for our regular membership" (It also included a plaque with my name and the date I was inducted!)

"I'll go with the $7.95", I say. (I then get my card and give her my info)  "Great!" she says, "So, SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE DOLLARS will be on your account!"

WHAAAAAATTTT???!? Tricky lady. Real nice.

After 10 minutes of me declining several more membership offers (she got down to $199), I was trying so hard not to offend this lady, because I did feel honored, and I did feel special. I began to cry, because, well, I had to take money out of my savings that day just to get lunch. I was lucky I had $7.95 to give! I think she finally understood, that even if she tried to take money, I wouldn't have any for her to take. And just because I work 7 days a week, doesn't mean I have money. After she explained to me for the 6th time that I would never be considered again, that this was a ONCE in a lifetime opportunity, I had to decline..again.

Here is why I share this story. For months I have been feeling unworthy. I have felt like I am not good enough, I don't do anything to be recognized, and I just feel looked down on. These are lies that are slammed in my face every day. I've really been struggling, and I felt like this whole experience was a slap in the face.

My worth is not based on my income. My worth is not based on whether or not I work in the house, or out of the house. My worth is not based on affirmation or acknowledgement. I have never gone from feeling SO appreciated to SO unworthy. After I cried a good cry, I heard God whisper to me "Sara, you are worth so much more than anyone will ever acknowledge."

I have learned my lesson. I don't want acknowledgment, especially if it will cost me $1,000 ;)

{sara}

PS I went from liking the NAPW organization to being very offended. Because of the obvious reason of me not being rich enough to be a part of it.