{2013 goals}

goals i wanted to share for 2013- they are actual goals in my life right now, but hoping that 2013 i 

act more on things, 

defend what i love, 

hope for the best & love greatly...

• not question what God will ask me to do 
• be more open to the Holy Spirit
• encourage kids to be spiritual leaders
• pray over as many kids as i can 
• be more aware to those who need prayer
• opening my home more to those who need company
• serve my husband on my own initiative
• represent myself in a worthy manor
• encourage and be hopeful for those in uncertain situations
• talk less, listen more
• improve my thank you notes
• be a patient preschool teacher
• treat every day at my job like its the last day to make an impression 

 just remember, that even though its refreshing that we start a new year, that with God every single day is a new start...what a great thing!!!

Happy New Year!

{sara}

{thankful}

one of my favorite verses comes from Habakkuk chapter 3, which states:

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

i came across this passage at a time in my life where all seemed so hopeless. i was a whiner, and like stated in my previous post, i was playing the victim. then a friend gave this verse to me with a note saying "if Habakkuk had it this bad- you can have hope". if you truly think about it...that was everything that had so much meaning to Habakkuk. gone.

when i think of how thankful i am, these are the verses that come to my mind. how many times i can simply wallow in my sadness of what i "cant" have or what i "dont" have...what i "want" or what others wont "give me". 

i am thankful. thankful because i have family that loves me. not all of them...but most :) i have a supporting and loving husband and 2 incredibly awesome jobs. my God has never failed me. and for that, i am so blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

{sara}

{victim}

its always easy to decide to be the "victim" in circumstances. its easy to submit to the feelings that we have the "right" to be in this position and to stay in this position.

do we have that right? maybe. but i encourage you to move on.

we all know its easier to be there. but then we have to ask ourselves, "how is that in any way beneficial for maturing and becoming a better person?" its hard because, while you are miserable, at the same time you arent proving the point of it all to anyone when you claim the victim card.

i played the victim. for 7 years. to get attention, to feel safe. i felt secure in this role because it didnt push me to grow up and face my problems. it didnt make me question things or realize lies that were thrown at me. you get to be the baby and people eventually lose respect for you. but at the time i had the "right" to be moody. and then i learned that no one cared anymore. i was so repetitive with my plea for sympathy while i sat on my butt and did nothing. so many people took the "high road" and it began to tick me off! but then i started to DO something. i realized, "hey! if i take the "high road" then i wont always be ticked that others are doing it".

your healing begins in your time. your healthy perspective starts to change when you decide to change it. if we work through crap and it seems to never end, to me that just says that it will. if we see no end in sight and we feel like we are drowning, then there is a possibility that it means we are dealing with the crap that needs dealt with.  

maybe when we are in pain, we are on the right path?

being in a state of confusion and sadness isnt always bad. a lot of times, thats what we are most sensitive to what God wants to tell us and show us. when we are so open, raw, and acknowledge help, that is when the Holy Spirit takes over.

God does NOT quit on people. if you think He has quit on you, then i encourage you to seek out being properly introduced to Jesus and all of who He is.

{Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid}
John 14:26-28

{sara}

{respect}

as women, boy do we struggle with respect…mostly towards ourselves. it can be SO hard at times to not respect ourselves. such as putting ourselves down, convincing ourselves that we can’t achieve the best, telling ourselves that we have no self-worth, and most of all, we can disrespect ourselves by letting others hurt us. how does this work?

we are in charge of ourselves. does stuff happen that are out of our control? YES. but then what? we decided how to react, what course of action to take, and whether or not to move on or not. 90% of the time we choose who is close to us. we choose who we are intimate with…emotionally, relationally, physically…and we let those people speak into our lives. many times, this is a healthy thing and sometimes not always.

if we, as humans, are being abused in any form by others who are close to us, we need to make sure that we do not let it determine who we are and what we think of ourselves. therefore letting others treat us terribly is us treating ourselves terribly. if we want to start respecting ourselves, then we need to be around others who respect us.

we are all loved and important. no person has higher worth than the other. we are all worthy of respect just like anyone else in this world.

{So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…} Matthew 7:12

{sara}

{answered prayers}

i love when God answers prayers! but sometimes, in the midst of praying- it seems like NOTHING is happening and it can be sooo frustrating-

after a year of praying and reminding God that i need another part-time job :) i finally got one! it was totally out of the blue and not expected at all {but that's what God does, right?} i now have 2 jobs where i can work with kids.

i. love. it.

so many times when God is silent in my life, i later realize that He was doing something. i realize that He was preparing the next step for me. i am so grateful and so thankful that i do not have to fully depend on myself, but only on Him.

does God feel silent to you right now?
is there something that is preventing you to feel close?

{sara}

{questioning life}

things have just been rough lately. and yesterday, God said to me, "then get on your knees and ASK me"

really? is it that simple? YES.

why do people make God so much more complicated? why do we get so caught up in "questioning" everything? questioning our existance...others motives...science...politics.

if you claim you are a Christian and that you know God, then why are we not asking God? there is no need to question your whole life every single day. especially when you can get your answers straight from the source. (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Bible)

i feel bad for those who stress every day about knowing what they know (or don't yet know..hmm).
or who to believe. or what to defend.

if you are always questioning...are you living? truly living? are you enjoying life? are you helping others enjoy life? or are you always adding to complication & messes.

you cannot say that you "know" God. especially if you don't talk to HIM.

we talk to those we know, don't we?

{Sara}

{all you need is love?}

 a phrase that has been haunting me lately is the phrase, "as long as we love each other, we can make it"

here is my problem. do we not remember what LOVE is? what LOVE represents?

LOVE is JESUS. LOVE = JESUS. 

{1 Corinthians 13:4-8...}

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

if the person hits you: that is "easily angered" & not "always protects"
if the person cheats on you: that is "dishonoring others" & "self-seeking"
if the person mocks you/makes fun of you: that is "proud" & not "kind"
if the person lies to you: that is not "always trusts"
if the person is always negative about life: that is not "always hopes"
if the person always leaves angry and threatens your relationship: that is not "always perseveres"
if the person keeps breaking things off with you, then begging the next day: that is not "always trusts"

if your kind of LOVE is JESUS, then you must be:
patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring of others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keep no record of wrongs, do not delight in evil, rejoice in truth, always protective, always trusting, always hopeful, always persevering, and having your love NEVER fail.

all these things are LOVE. "all" you need is love? "love is all you need"?

if your relationship does not show any of these things, your relationship will not survive on "just LOVE"

{Sara}

{im no quitter}

isnt this hilarious? found this at wal-mart the other day. i laughed about it for a few days, posted it on facebook, sent it to friends..you know. the whole 9 yards.

lately my heart has been very heavy. VERY heavy for those who have been a Christian and no longer claim that. they treat it like another thing you can drop in a day.we give up certain foods, activities, bad habits..etc. and then also expect to just "drop" our faith? if its hard for you to leave Christianity, then maybe you DID have some faith. some love for God. some religion.or, maybe, you actually did have a relationship with Him.

i'll be honest. one of the many i am talking about is my brother. he is so mad at Christianity and Christians. here is the problem...he based it on me, family and friends.{you cannot base your final conclusion of God on humanity}. its not accurate! i personally, have messed up so many times in front of my brother. my language, my attitude, my decisions. o how i wish i  could take that all back! it kills me that people are turning away from God because of our actions. because of how we act, how we respond. but like i have said in an earlier post. {i am not perfect. i am not comparable to God's love and reasoning}. yes, i represent Jesus. i strive to do that every day. but i am not perfect at it at all. if there is ANY good in me, it is all because of Jesus working in my heart. and when i mess up, its just another time that i get back up and press on . i guess what i'm trying to reiterate is this...{do not base your final decision of God because of what people have said or done to you}.


my main question to people who are getting frustrated with the church is "what are you not experiencing? what do you need to experience to make God real in your life?" you cannot stop being a Christian because you "hate" the "church"(the BRIDE of Christ). Perry Noble said it best. he said, "to say you love Christ, yet hate is church is offensive. its like telling me you love me and want to get to know me, yet hate my wife and cant stand her. i would hurt you if you said that about my wife!"  (paraphrased)

this all makes it hard on myself as well. what are we doing as Christians that are making people fed up? are we allowing the whole influence to be based on our actions? or are encouraging engaging in the Holy Spirit! and a movement in their hearts!

its hard to see our mistakes lead people away from God. but, luckily, God does not let go.

may they, by Gods grace, see Jesus at work in many others and in their lives as well.
{Sara}

{Lord, save him}

what a month! life is flying by, but that's because life has been so much fun!

monday, joel and i went to chicago for a cubs game. we love the cubs and i LOVE wrigley field. its such a fun environment. they really do a good job to make it entertaining and lively.

after the game and dinner, we went to walk around millennium park before our train back. (we had over 2 hours to kill!) as we were walking along, we passed a homeless gentleman with a dog and they were both sleeping on the side of the street. as we were walking past them, i thought to  myself, "that poor guy and his dog..." BUT the lady behind me mumbled under her breath, "Lord, save him...."

{{{{{{TRIGGER}}}}}} its like that phrase set off an alarm in my heart. in a split second, i wanted to cry, and my sorrow for this individual was crazy and insanely large. as we kept walking, my heart started beating so fast and i knew the Holy Spirit was working. in that split second, i realized something...that phrase called ME out to do something. i was to be the one who did something, because i represent JESUS. i felt like that phrase awakened my whole being. it awakened who i am designed to represent and the image i was created in. it was like the lady was whispering to me "...you represent Jesus...DO SOMETHING"

i have never had that reaction before. the last time i gave my food away on the street was because a man followed me from the restaurant to a coffee shop and asked me for my leftovers...sounds horrible, right?

so i asked my husband and friends if it was OK that i gave away our {amazingly wonderful} cheesy bread from dinner that we were saving for our snack on the way home. i went to give it to him, and he was appreciative. then as we were walking away, God told me to give him some money. i asked my husband how much we had...and we had a $20 and a $1. well, of course then God says, "really? you cant give up a $20???"

so i went back and gave it to him. he then got up and gave me a hug. we talked about his situation he was in and gave him some encourgement. his dogs name was stella and she was a rescue. as we were talking, a lady walked up and stated, "ugh..that poor dog! is she OK?" and i thought to myself..."what about HIM? you stop and give your full bottle of water to a dog, yet this man is dying of thirst?" it was heartbreaking. he promised he would use our money to buy himself something to drink :)

lesson learned. God calls us out when we least expect it. He calls us out using others responses to tough situations. We must ALWAYS be attentive and aware of what God may be wanting to do.

PS i only lasted 2 days on juicing :) but i love using it to supplement!

{Sara} 

{mary&martha}

i read luke 10:38-42 recently about an account about mary and martha. i had to chuckle, because i can relate to this story so much! a sisterly quarrel :)
 martha has Jesus over for dinner, and gets upset that mary (who is sitting at Jesus' feet listening to Him talk) isnt helping with the prep. she goes to Jesus and says "Lord, dont you care that my sitster has left me to do the work by myself? tell her to help me!"

 Jesus replies, "martha, martha...you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. mary has chosen what is better, 

and it will not be taken away from her"

 ummm...embarrassing! i cant imagine! martha just got "boom!"ed.
 i just love this account. first off, because this is such a sibling thing to do ;) and also, its so true what we do in our Christian walk sometimes. we can get so caught up in what others {arent} doing in our eyes. we can be so judgemental about others and their personal relationships with Jesus. when i catch myself personally wrongfully accusing, i am reminded that i do not know their heart...only God does.
 i was thinking about what sister i would have been, but then i realized i have been both. i have been so caught up in serving and being busy with helping others, that i realize i haven't spent time with the ONE whom i am doing all that service for.
 in ministry (all Christians are called to ministry wherever you are), its so important to remember to rest at the feet of Jesus and just listen.
 all this to say... we are each at a different place in our relationship with Jesus. we need to watch our hearts and make sure that they are not only in the right place, but sitting at the feet of Jesus.

{my never changing faith}

i just returned from our Vineyard Regional Conference (which was amazing) and was excited to share with everyone what happened. well, now i feel that i am not ready for that! its kind of like a fun secret :) but i will say it was more detail on my calling as a Christ follower, so that is so refreshing!

my post this time is  more about those who have given up the good fight. who have thought they have ran the race, but didnt. those who thought they "tried Jesus" but didnt fully get the experience that would put a desire  and yearning in their heart.

i want to share with you more about my relationship with Jesus and the change He made in MY life:

it breaks my heart to see people frustrated with Christians. i will type it again...it breaks my heart to see people frustrated with Christians. in general, and we are all guilty of it, we put human beings on such a high platform sometimes. which is great, right? because it helps us set goals, define who we are, and achieve more love and respect for those around us. everyone expects everyone to 'practice what they preach' and if they don't, we get mad. we get really mad. because we are humans who are disappointed in a human. i guess the thought that always comes to my mind when i am ridiculed is, i am human. i will fail you. please please please do not depend on me! as a Christian, i do know i have a calling, a purpose and the Bible is very clear on that. if i am doing good, it is only because of my Jesus who helps me, and if i am failing, it is because i am human who is full of error.

it hurts me. it offends me. when people talk about my best friend, Jesus the way they do. it hurts when they slander my Heavenly Father, and it hurts when they mock the Holy Spirit.{i have experienced the Trinity in a way that has made me fall even more deeply in love with God and people. i have realized my purpose, who i am in Christ, and self worth. i have had conversations with a God that to a lot of people seems ridiculous. i have encountered a God who is reachable.}

i read a post of a friend that wants to get Jesus out of his mind. he cant believe how hard it is to get out of the mindset of Christianity. that isnt being brainwashed, what he is experiencing is a God and a Holy Spirit who wont let go because He loves that man so much. 

with humans, we are so adamant about getting to know the person fully before we "judge" them. its offensive to even say something about someone without knowing that person. relationships are encouraged so that we can understand one another more deeply and love each other. this is the same for God! the full Gospel is a story of a God who wants a relationship with us. He wants us to know Him. He wants us to experience Him! if you are mad and bitter at a God who IS love, then you have not built a relationship with a God of whom you can slander and ridicule. 

Isaiah 37:9 {For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land}
John 1:3-5 {Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. in him was life, and that life was the light of men. the light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it}

{called to ministry}

i remember the day like it was yesterday. i was at SOS in Cincinnati Ohio with our youth group, and we were doing exercises of praying over people and asking the Holy Spirit to tell us what He wanted us to tell the other person. this exercise is done with your back to the person and not knowing who they are, you have 2 minutes to pray (before you turn around)and ask God what He wants you to tell that person.

so of course, i was suspicious and  carefully picked my person. as i stood behind her, i touched her shoulder to let her know someone was behind her, and i felt this burst of energy flow between us- i then started shaking. when the woman turned around, she had to keep her eyes closed until she was done telling me...

i was told this:
"God wants me to tell you today that you are a beautiful butterfly waiting to come out of a cocoon. Its like, you are at a place in life where you are about to realize your calling, and God wants you to know that He loves you and has big plans for you. Whats going on now, is preparing you for what is to come when you burst out of your cocoon. He's got you. He has big plans for you. And He wants you to know that He sees you, recognizes you, and cannot wait to use you. He loves you!...did i get it right??" lol

of course she did!!

all day i couldn't get it out of my head...God wanted me to know that He {noticed} me. and that He was about to reveal His {plan for my life} to me. i was blown away. and felt so privileged! but more so blown away-

later that week, at a session, we were doing an alter call. a lot of us leaders had gone up front or to the sides of the auditorium to pray for students. later in the session, one of the pastors went up and said "any leaders out there that need prayer? anyone feeling called to ministry or know you need to make a life decision tonight? come up front to this corner, and we will do a "calling" prayer time for you"

i had just finished praying for a youth, and bolted up front. before i knew it, i was being prayed for. i was being prayed over and they were praying that my {ministry as a woman would be respected, fruitful and blessed}. that financially i would be taken care of and that my life would begin to take its rightful direction.

after that trip, my husband and i started dating and things were coming together. the next SOS the following year i was engaged and had just quit my previous job (which i didnt get to even do my "2 weeks notice")

again, i went up for prayer and the woman asked me some very specific questions about how much i loved children. "do you work with children?" she asked. as she was praying for me, she said she saw me teaching in a classroom with all these kids watching me while i {taught them about Jesus}. she said kids would notice me. she even pointed out a little child that would catch my heart, and she gave me specific features of a child to look for in the future, and that when I see that child, i'll be reassured that this is what i'm supposed to be doing....

...a month later i started working in children's ministry :)

what have you been called to do (loving people & sharing Jesus can come with ANY job)? actually, the real question is...are you doing it??

{Sara} 

{growing up- doing what really matters}

i like the Message version of Matthew 5:38-48:

"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you." 

i used to have a sign in my room that said "get over it". which can be rough sometimes, right? but its true. our society wants us so badly to {get what we deserve}, {pursue for justice}, {fight for rights}...does that all really matter when this isn't even our home? we are aliens- here on earth to serve JESUS, to love JESUS, and believe in Him so that we can be with HIM when it really REALLY matters. 

when i leave this world. i will be with JESUS. i am a kingdom subject here on earth to show the love of Jesus. i am a Jesus lover on a compassionate pursuit to plant seeds of hope, faith, and love to my enemies and to help them find who Jesus is, and want to be with Him as well!

we have a BIG job! 

{blessings- to better the mood}

whew! joel and i have been having a {season} so i thought i needed to post some {blessings} that are happening lately..they may seem pathetic and simple, but hey...im trying!

1. i got a car! still needing to figure some things out, but the timing/money was perfect. and it was a major prayer request that was answered!

2. right now some close friends of mine are living in town for a while with my parents. its been really nice to see them whenever i can go over. their daughter is precious and i love my comfortable friendship with them.

3. really loving my job/jobs. babysitting is also that {extra} little blessing :)

4. i have amazing friends that care for me and send me random/loving/encouraging text messages

5. i have a husband that keeps me sane :D he is hilarious, funny, honest, and encouraging.

6. we have 8 weddings this year! its been great to be able to make some of them a little {weekend getaway}
 since we dont have the money to go on a vacation this summer.

7. my God is {GOOD}, and even though some things are happening now..i know that His promises are never taken back. i am looking forward to this list growing and growing!

whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. my Father will honor the one who serves me. {john 12:26}

{your negativity is killin' me}

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

{Ephesians 4:31-32}

 a few things that i feel God has helped me realize to help me move on from grudges are:

1. i am not one to judge- God is the ultimate Judge
2. i do not know their heart- God knows their heart (and mine) and STILL wants best for that person
3. i want others to forgive me, so i need to forgive them
4. holding a grudge KILLS my joy!
5. not moving on shows signs of immaturity

holding a grudge is feeding a monster of destruction and resentment. if we love Jesus, then we need to understand that because of Jesus' great love, and because of the cross, who are we NOT to forgive?  because of who Jesus is, and because He so easily forgives us, we can bite our tongues and choose JOY and moving on.

how many grudges are you holding? 

{called to 'come'}

some things i have been studying the past few weeks are:
1. predistination
2. freedom in Christ (new covenant & Jesus)
3. battle of the mind

lets just say. its been a unique few weeks. could these subjects be any more larger and include any more detail?? when God calls us to grow, we better be ready, and we better know our stuff. im really being challenged this week only because i believe what i believe because i was told what to believe, and now, i'm learning it needs to be MY personal belief.

 my devos this week:
 in Hebrews 12 Moses sees a burning bush. (this is a very simplified version :) ). Moses was warned by God "do not come closer". God restrained Moses for a good reason! God knew an unholy man would face death in the presence of a holy God. His words of rejection were actually words of love and words of compassion. In this story we see a contrast between Gods LAW and Gods GRACE.

Law: do not come any closer because you are NOT worthy
Grace: i have made you worthy through Jesus!

Because of the new covenant, and Gods grace through Jesus, we are commanded and called to "COME".

isaiah 55 "come"
matthew 11:28 "come to me"
hebrews author states, "you have come to God!"
james 4 "come near to God"
revelation even wraps up the whole bible with mentioning "come" several times

His law warns us, yet is grace welcomes us. Jesus came to the earth so that we can come to God!!

{our story}

Joel and I met in the spring of 2009 and the second we met I honestly remember thinking to myself, “what if I marry this boy?” Who knew…!

One of the first moments I knew that Joel and I would be great together was a trip to Chicago that we took with some friends. Joel was the most patient driver I have ever ridden with- I was amazed. With my road rage, I knew that this would be a good fit for me. His peace and patience made the day perfect and I loved watching how he enjoyed life. I remember coming home and being excited that I had found a friend that I had felt safe and at peace with!

We started hanging out more over the summer of 2009. Joel doesn’t talk much, and he began to get flirty over text.I finally got it out of him that he liked me, and our first date was August 4^th, 2009. Our first date happened to be 3 days into a 21 day cleanse that I was doing. Lucky him! I knew that I would let him hold my hand that night when I saw that he had made me a fruit platter…it was gorgeous. His mom later asked about the date, and I told her what he had made, and she said, “Sara Jo! He CUT fruit? My son CUT fruit? He must love you. He has never cut fruit. You need to marry him now.”

Our second date included the game “20 Questions” in order to get him to open up – we became best friends that night.

A month after dating, and convincing others over and over again that we were just “dating”, we decided to go to GCC’s first Wednesday service. It was honestly the most awkward service I have ever sat through. I wanted to die. All that week Joel and I had discussed taking the next step, but he was so nervous. Once the Pastor started talking, my face turned bright red and I wanted to run out. The guy next to me, I’m sure, was wondering why I was looking at him the whole time, because I couldn’t look over at Joel. The pastor continued to talk about how in life, we are faced with scary situations and sometimes we just need to “jump” and trust that God will take care of us. He said that when we jump, we are not jumping into an abyss, but we are jumping into the arms of God, who will protect us and bless our decision.

The next morning, I woke up with a few text messages that he had sent me over night. It had been obvious that he had not been up all night praying about us. The last text I got said, “I'm ready to jump…will you jump with me?”

What a great way to wake up!

We became official on September 5^th, 2009, became engaged March 17th, 2010, and got married August 6^th, 2010.  We got married on our 11^th month of being together, and celebrated 1 year of dating after a month of marriage. There are countless times where God had made clear the direction of our relationship. Many times, it was the simple prayer of “God, put our hearts where they need to be, because this is going so fast!” But of course, God knew what He was doing, and of course, we were terrified at times, but that is what made it an amazing journey. My marriage to Joel has been such a blessing. God truly blesses those who love Him and “jump” into His will for their lives- and I am truly honored to fall in love with the same person every day.

{everyone is on God's heart}

Yesterday I went to Meijer to buy clocks for JAM. When I walked out, I had realized it had started to rain and said out loud, "Seriously??". As I gathered my bags out of my cart, this man came out from the corner, took his headphones off and asked if he could bother me a second. Now I admit, I get upset when people ask for money. I'm guilty of always assuming that everyone has friends like me that I can call and they would do anything for me. I said he could and he proceeded to tell me that he lost his wallet. I asked where he needed to go and he said downtown. I offered to find a ride for him and he said no, so I left.

I pulled into the church parking lot and turned around. I thought to myself, I am pathetic, I can give away $20.

I parked and ran back in. I went up to him and said, "So...you say you lost your wallet...did you report it?" He said he had and he lost it on the bus. Well, then I felt dumb. This was a true story. I pulled out my $20 and gave it to him. He told me he only needed a few dollars to get on the bus and that he would give me change. He wanted to re-pay me and I told him no and that I didn't want that. I said if he ever wanted to thank me, he can stop by the Vineyard. Next thing I knew, we were both getting emotional. Right then, the bus pulled up and I said, "is that your bus?" He said, "now it is- I got to go get change".  We exchanged names and I left.

I was then overwhelmed and cried all the way back to work...only because I knew that man was on Gods heart, and I had obeyed.

My final thought from this encounter is this- I am constantly reminded by the world that my financial situation cannot afford to help others. I mean, I really don't have money to just "hand out". Yet God reminded me that  because of HIM, I always have time and money to help others, because its not MY money, its HIS...