{its OK to cry}

   our church had a service at noon today, and of course, i wept. we sang the song, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) and once we got to this part, the tears fell freely...

"The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine"

   when we got to the last line, i could picture myself going into the tomb, kneeling down at the deathbed of Jesus, caressing his head and singing this to Him. as a woman, and a wife...i cannot imagine watching Him go through all this pain, and not be able to take care of Him!! in this video (New Again), i couldnt imagine being Mary and the pain she felt of not being able to take care of her son. so when we sang these words, i pictured me with Jesus and assuring Him that BECAUSE OF WHAT HE DID FOR ME, HE IS FOREVER MINE!
   this is the first time i have ever had this perspective. just like we take care of our family and friends, and now Joel. the pure sadness of not being able to take care of Joel if he were in that condition is unbearable to imagine.
    its true, the older you get, you do cry more. not because you get more emotional, but because if you get married, you learn a deeper love. if you have kids, you learn a deeper love. my first Easter with children, i just know i'm going to weep even more.
   the unworthiness! the LOVE!! so let yourself mourn and weep...

...allow yourself to be reminded...